What to ask your lawyer during your first meeting

If you’re looking to stay out of court during your divorce, there are a few questions you should make sure to ask your family lawyer during your very first meeting.

As collaborative legal professionals, here are the questions we think are essential to ask during that first meeting:

1. What is the difference between lawyer-to-lawyer (or traditional) negotiation, collaborative process and mediation?

2. How would I choose between lawyer-to-lawyer (or traditional) negotiation, collaborative process and mediation? Which would be better? Which is the least expensive? What are the pros and cons of each?

3. What does a lawyer trained in the collaborative process provide that is different from one that is not?

4. How much involvement do you have in the negotiation process? How much of the process is you and me working together versus you and my spouse’s lawyer working together versus everyone in the same room at the same time? Do my spouse and I ever just meet on our own? Is it different for the parenting and financial discussions?

5. What about ‘neutral family and financial professionals’? Why would we involve these professionals? What would they add to the process? Can they be added no matter which process I choose?

6. How do the various processes address conflicting positions between my spouse and I when both are important?

For example: one of us feels it is important to provide stability and maintain the status quo in terms of where the kids live (primarily with one parent) and the other feels it is important to have a strong parenting relationship with both parents.

7. How do you approach/assist if the negotiation/discussion becomes hostile?

8. How much will it cost?

9. How long will it take?

10. How do I get my spouse to understand and agree to Collaborative Practice or mediation?

If the lawyer you are meeting with cannot answer these questions, you may want to interview another lawyer. Collaborative lawyers should be able and willing to answer all of these questions. A list of collaborative lawyers in Toronto can be found at www.collaborativepracticetoronto.com.